'Old money' mean girls howling like hyenas at a young mum... How predictable. Their catty group chat exposes a shameless lie so many Aussie women tell themselves: AMANDA GOFF
There are two lies I was told when I packed my bags and moved across the world from London to Sydney in the early 2000s.
The first was that I would no longer need an umbrella. The second was that there is no class system in Australia - certainly not like there is in the UK.
I'll address those points in order, starting with the weather. In my 20-plus years in Sydney, I've literally never seen more rain in my life.
And I'm not talking about the romantic drizzle you get in moody European cities. I mean biblical flooding - the type to almost kill my Airbnb guests and cost me an arm and a leg to fix, only for it to happen again a year later.
Now, onto that other point - the biggest lie of all: that Australia is somehow classless.
What absolute bloody rubbish.
Laura Hazzouri (right), the wife of a prominent Sydney property developer, is in the crosshairs of 'old money' society snobs because she hails from Dubbo, in regional New South Wales
I know the eastern suburbs of Sydney like the back of my hand and let me say this: never have I lived in a place that was so stuck-up and sniffy - and I grew up in the plush suburb of Wimbledon in south-west London.
Melbourne is my home now and while I love my new city, it's just as judgy, if not a smidgeon more. All around South Yarra, people talk endlessly about their 'generational wealth' or their years at Scotch College or Geelong Grammar.
(A note for my British readers: Geelong Grammar is the most expensive private school in Australia. King Charles studied there for two terms. Oh, and Aussie private schools are partly subsidised by the taxpayer here - and no one questions it!)
But back to that nasty old class system - trust me, it's alive and kicking in the land Down Under, even without inherited peerages or domestic nobility to fall back on.
If anything, the nauseating snobbery is worse here because the upper class is so maddeningly wealthy. At least the asset-rich, cash-broke toffs of Great Britain can have a laugh about it. Oh, Nigel. Our castle is practically falling apart!
But the most infuriating part of it all is that Aussies love to pat themselves on the back, swearing blind that they don't 'do' hierarchy, that they're all on the same level and everyone gets a 'fair go'.
They're really not like us Pommy snobs.
What absolute horses**t. Don't believe it for one second.
Her 'get ready with me' video ruffled feathers among Sydney's elite for being 'nouveau riche'. (Mrs Hazzouri is seen second from right with a group of girlfriends)
Spend five minutes in Double Bay or Toorak, and you'll get the tired old interrogation: Which school did you go to? Which suburb do you live in? Do you come from wealth? Or is your money - shudder - newly acquired?
I hate to make generalisations about the people and country that I love, but Aussies really are completely – and conveniently - delusional about the fact that their class system exists.
Which brings me to influencer Laura Hazzouri, whose 'champagne lifestyle' and 'get ready with me' video - a short clip of her packing for a Maldives holiday - ruffled feathers among Sydney's elite for being 'gauche' and nouveau riche.
It sparked a debate we Brits know all too well: old money versus new. Laura was swiftly labelled 'new money' by her toffee-nosed peers.
Is the label even true? I have no idea about her family wealth. But the howling hyenas of the eastern suburbs have decided that she must be - because this mother of three hails from (brace yourselves) Dubbo, a regional town in New South Wales. According to a snooty WhatsApp chat doing the rounds, the Joh-Bailey-blonde-bob set aren't just rolling their eyes at Laura's flashy displays of wealth, but also her background.
The assumption - which for all I know could be a million miles off the mark - is that this humble gal from Nowhere-ville married a property developer and now has the temerity to think her spending habits earn her a place among the gentry.
What a bunch of absolute bitches - seriously. So much for the easy-going Aussies! It's tall poppy syndrome 101, folks.
'What bothers me most is that so many women in privileged suburbs like Double Bay and Toorak are still stuck in the schoolyard mindset - while pretending Australia has no class system,' writes Amanda Goff
Look, flaunting one's wealth isn't something I'd do personally. First and foremost, I don't have much to flaunt - but even if I did, I'd be too embarrassed to talk about it. Growing up, I was told: 'Don't discuss money or politics.'
Still, the fact that Laura showcased two $800 YSL bags, stacks of Cartier jewellery, and a Louis Vuitton beauty case worth $3,000 to her 65,000 Instagram followers is entirely her choice.
It's the hypocrisy of the Aussie women who pretend to be so welcoming and easy-going that makes my stomach turn.
When confronted with the catty comments, Laura said her family had worked hard to achieve their success, and her intention was 'simply to share moments from my own life', not to make comparisons or statements about anyone else's.
Laura, you certainly don't need to explain yourself to me - or the 'old money' mean girls braying like banshees in group chats about how you should or shouldn't behave.
I'll admit something here that still makes me wince.
I attended a private girls' school in London, where one student from the East End stood out with her cockney accent - she didn't 'fit in'. Unlike most of us, she'd earned her place on a scholarship, so really deserved to be there more than the rest of us.
No one was openly cruel, but she was subjected to 'gentle teasing' - the kind delivered with a smile. Regrettably, I was part of it, too.
We laughed at her accent, made sly remarks, and then, one day, she was gone. I often wonder - and feel guilty as an adult - did she leave because of us?
That's how I believe class cruelty works. It's not handbags at dawn or yelling in the street – it's inside jokes, elbow nudges, raised eyebrows – and of course, catty WhatsApp groups.
And while I cringe when I think about that poor girl - who is probably far more successful than I am today - at least I know I've grown up. I have the maturity to understand I should never have treated her any differently simply because she was from the wrong side of the tracks.
This is what appears to be playing out with Laura Hazzouri - the only difference being that Laura's not at school and her bullies aren't 12 – they're grown women behaving like spoilt little private school kids.
What bothers me most is that so many women in privileged suburbs like Double Bay and Toorak are still stuck in the schoolyard mindset - while pretending Australia has no class system.
Don't believe me? Just ask Mrs Hazzouri.
