I'm a 35-year-old virgin who has never even been on a date... now I'm finally ready to look for love
While many other teens were developing their first crushes and navigating their first romances, Lauren Harkins had little interest in dating when she was younger.
In fact, seeing her friends go through breakups and deal with boy drama all throughout high school just cemented it for her: she did not want anything to do with the world of love.
Harkins' attitude towards romance didn't waver through her 20s and 30s, and now at age 35, she has happily never been on a date, kissed anyone or had sex.
And the self-described 'late bloomer' has no regrets about her decision to refrain from intimacy, despite facing immense backlash over it online.
'I never felt embarrassed or behind when my friends started finding love. If anything, I felt confident in my choice to abstain from dating,' the 35-year-old virgin, from Portland, Maine, said during a recent chat with the Daily Mail.
She explained that her decision to shun love initially came from her feeling 'uninterested in the pressure or expectations that often come with young relationships.'
'It wasn’t because of lack of opportunity,' she vowed. 'I just had a strong sense that it wasn’t my season yet.
'I wanted to focus on building myself, understanding what I valued and creating a life that felt aligned before inviting someone else into it.'
Lauren Harkins is a 35-year-old virgin and she spoke about her decision to refrain from sex with the Daily Mail
While many other teens were developing their first crushes and navigating their first romances, Harkins said she had little interest in dating when she was younger
And watching her friends go through some hard splits only 'reinforced' her decision.
'I could see how emotionally consuming [relationships] could be, and I knew I was still in a phase of self-discovery,' she continued.
'I didn’t want to rush into these kinds of attachments before I understood myself and my direction more clearly.'
Despite having a late start, Harkins is now 'open to love' and strongly believes she's going to find it. But she added that she still has no interest in 'casual' sex and doesn't think she ever will.
'I don’t approach sex or intimacy casually because I think it carries emotional and energetic weight,' she explained.
'Who you connect with matters, and I’ve always been intentional about protecting that part of myself.
'I’m not chasing [love] or looking to rush into anything. I want to meet someone from a place of stability and true alignment.
'I feel confident that I’ll find love in the coming years, and I trust myself to recognize it when it’s right.'
Harkins' attitude towards romance didn't waver through her 20s and 30s, and now at age 35, she has happily never been on a date, kissed anyone or had sex
Harkins' unusual stance has led to her receiving immense backlash online, with haters branding her as 'expired' or 'narcissistic' in the past
Harkins' unusual stance has led to her receiving immense backlash online, with haters branding her as 'expired' or 'narcissistic' in the past.
But she's unfazed by the hate, telling the Daily Mail: 'People are free to feel however they want - it doesn’t affect me or where I’m headed.
'I make a conscious effort to not take online negativity personally. It can be tempting, but I don’t believe in punching down.'
Harkins explained that many people accuse her of lying about not having sex because of her confidence, or claim that she doesn't 'seem like a virgin' - which she finds ridiculous.
'To me, this simply reflects how narrow and outdated many of our assumptions still are - and I’m more than happy to challenge those stereotypes,' she said.
She insisted that despite the criticism she has also received an 'overwhelming' amount of positive messages from people who say her story has 'helped them feel less alone.'
Harkins explained that many people accuse her or lying about not having sex because of her confidence, or claim that she doesn't 'seem like a virgin' - which she finds ridiculous
Despite having a late start, Harkins is now 'open to love' and strongly believes she's going to find it
But she added that she still has no interest in 'casual' sex and doesn't think she ever will
'I hope people take comfort in knowing there’s nothing wrong with moving at your own pace,' she said.
'We’re not all meant to follow the same path, and no one knows you better than you know yourself. Honor that. And don’t be afraid to stand alone while you get to where you’re going.'
Harkins has 'no regrets' and is excited for what the future holds.
'I’ve held the line on my standards, values and integrity, and that’s something I will continue to carry forward for the rest of my life,' she concluded.
'I move if and when it feels right, not out of pressure or expectation, and I trust that what is meant for me won’t pass me by. I genuinely love my life, and I love the person I am.'
