I made a 34-page dress code for my wedding guests... critics say I'm controlling but I want it to be perfect
For years, debates have erupted over what is and isn't appropriate to wear to a wedding. But for Runya Kwenda's big day, there will be no questions for her guests.
That's because she sent out a 34-page detailed dress code for the attendees of her upcoming nuptials.
Kwenda, 34, who is based in the UK, is gearing up to wed fiancé Ryan Sparkles, 29, this fall, and as someone who has 'always been an extensive planner' she knew early on that she wanted to give her guests some guidance on what to wear.
'Even when I host something simple like lunch, I enjoy turning it into an experience,' she explained during a recent chat with the Daily Mail.
'I'm definitely the family planner and I enjoy decorating or creating themes for events. That same mindset has carried into our wedding.'
Kwenda and Sparkles are planning to tie the knot in Cape Town, Africa, during a three-day destination wedding, which will include multiple celebrations.
Soon after her save-the-dates were sent out, Kwenda explained that she was inundated with questions from loved ones about what exactly each event will entail and what they should wear.
That's when she came up with the idea of creating a 'style guide' for her guests.
Runya Kwenda, 34, is gearing up to wed fiancé Ryan Sparkles, 29, this fall, and sent out a 34-page detailed dress code for the attendees of her upcoming nuptials
Kwenda started by developing themes and color palettes for each of the events that was scheduled for her multi-day wedding, then rounded up photos of outfit inspiration for each one
She explained: 'When guests found out the wedding would be in Cape Town and take place over three days, the most common questions we received were: "What will we be doing for three days?" and "What should we wear?"
'Then in December my aunt mentioned she had seen an outfit she liked but wasn't sure if it would suit the wedding, and asked whether I would be sharing any ideas.
'That was when I started creating what was meant to be a simple look guide for the three days.'
Kwenda started by developing themes and color palettes for each of the events that was scheduled for her multi-day wedding, and rounded up photos of outfits that she felt were perfect to act as 'inspiration.'
She wanted the guide to 'feel inclusive' so that 'everyone could see their own style reflected in it,' so what she thought would just be a one-page style guide quickly grew into several pages.
'I wanted to find looks that would work for guests of all ages, from 18 to 85 plus, so I kept thinking about whether different people in our family would relate to each page,' she dished.
'I spent time looking at different retailers, from high-street brands like Shein to more formal stores like Phase Eight.
'I wanted someone to feel they could spend under $50 and still look amazing, just as much as someone who might spend $200 to $500.'
As someone who has 'always been an extensive planner,' Kwenda, seen with her fiancé, said she knew early on that she wanted to give her guests some guidance on what to wear
But she stressed that the guide was supposed to act more as 'style suggestions' rather than rules. One page from it is seen here
In total, she spent roughly 30 hours creating the extensive guide, which she ultimately sent out to every guest.
But she stressed that it was supposed to act more as 'style suggestions,' and insisted that her goal was to 'give people confidence' and make the process 'easier and more enjoyable for their guests.'
'The guide is meant to inspire people and help them realize they might already have something in their wardrobe that would work perfectly,' she added.
'My goal was to make sure no one felt pressure to spend extra money just because they were travelling to a destination wedding.
'After sending the guide, some guests told us they already owned something similar to the outfits shown, which was exactly what I hoped for.
'If I had received something like this as a wedding guest, I think it would have saved me time deciding what to wear.'
She insisted that the response from their guests has been extremely positive.
'Many of our guests initially felt unsure about what to wear across the three days, and the guide gives them a helpful starting point,' she continued.
'Many people were excited [by the guide] and started planning their outfits straight away.
She insisted that her goal was to 'give people confidence' and make the process 'easier and more enjoyable for their guests'
'Our family and friends know us well, so no one was surprised that we created something detailed to help them prepare.'
Kwenda opened up about her extensive guide on social media, but the response online has not been as postivie.
She admitted that while some people loved her idea, others were quick to slam her over it.
In response to those who branded her as 'controlling' for it, she quipped: 'I understand why some people might initially see it that way, but the guide was never meant to control what people wear.
'Our guests are travelling internationally for a three-day celebration, so the intention was to provide inspiration and make planning easier.
'Some guests may not need guidance at all, but others appreciate having ideas so they feel confident about what to pack.'
She hopes that by sharing her style guide it will inspire other brides to do what they feel is right for their wedding, and not worry about how something may be received.
'Outside opinions shouldn't stop you from creating something that enhances your wedding experience and helps your guests feel prepared,' she concluded.
