Truth about new 'bimbofication' trend ensnaring so many married men... and how to tell if YOUR husband might be tempted: TRACEY COX reveals signs to watch out for - and how you should deal with it
It sounds like the plot of a political satire.
The husband of one of America’s most prominent Republican figures, who championed traditional family values, has been discovered living a secret double life.
Last week it was revealed that Bryon Noem, 56, adopted an online persona as a pouty-faced woman complete with gigantic fake breasts and skintight leggings, to chat with adult performers from the 'bimbofication' scene, allegedly paying them more than £19,000 to boss him around.
His wife, the former secretary of homeland security Kristi Noem, says she is devastated and blindsided.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world is both shocked and fascinated – and asking the same question: Why would a happily married man want to risk everything to indulge such a proclivity?
The answer lies in understanding what bimbofication is really about – and why it could appeal to someone close to you.
Last week it was revealed that Bryon Noem, 56, adopted an online persona as a pouty-faced woman complete with gigantic fake breasts and skintight leggings
His wife, the former secretary of homeland security Kristi Noem, says she is devastated and blindsided
It’s done as a form of escapism.
Bimbofication is a roleplaying kink centred around a man playing or ‘worshipping’ an exaggerated, caricatured version of womanhood.
The goal is to embody the stereotypical ‘bimbo’ – a woman with big breasts, lips and hips... and a not-so-big brain.
In this community, bimbos aren’t thought of as stupid, as such. They’re seen as women who are carefree and sexually empowered: they have big curves and personality and zero responsibility.
Men who enjoy the fetish don’t just adopt the appearance of revealing outfits and exaggerated makeup, they adopt the mindset. This is where the escapism comes in.
According to one model Noem interacted with, he would come online stressed and use the sessions to relax. All by pretending to be a woman without a care in the world.
Is this the same as being transgender?
Not even close.
Being trans is about identity: feeling that your gender doesn’t match the sex you were assigned at birth. It’s not a kink.
Bimbofication is a fantasy. Rancher and businessman Noem doesn’t want to be a real woman – real women carry a lot of stress and responsibility. There’s no fun in that!
He’s not questioning whether he’s really a woman. He’s adopting an exaggerated, sexualised form of womanhood to escape the pressure of real life.
Tracey Cox says bimbofication is a roleplaying kink which involves men playing or ‘worshipping’ an exaggerated, caricatured version of womanhood
Noem liked ‘3000cc-plus boobs’ – XXL implants that can hold more than 3000 cubic centimetres of saline per breast
What is he getting from it?
When your wife is one of the most scrutinised figures in American politics, life is complicated.
Kristi Noem is the 54-year-old MAGA favourite, who oversaw ICE's aggressive crackdown on illegal migrants until she was removed from her position in March. Her husband runs a multi-million-dollar crop insurance agency.
Meanwhile, pretending to be a bimbo – out for fun and pleasure and little else – requires nothing of you.
The psychological appeal of succumbing, when you’re a high-functioning, stressed man, isn’t hard to understand.
Another feature of this fetish is that it can involve worshipping women. Messages reviewed by the Daily Mail show Noem complimenting models on their ‘amazing’ curves and vowing to worship them like a ‘goddess’. He doesn’t want to be a woman, he’s a man who is intensely attracted to a very specific, cartoon-like version of one.
Isn’t this the same as cross-dressing?
After all, Noem did put on women’s clothing – pink hot pants and a crop top.
There is some overlap.
Cross-dressing is wearing clothing associated with a different gender. It can be done for sexual or non-sexual reasons and means different things to different people. Lots of cross-dressers identify as heterosexual, some don’t.
Bimbofication is more specific. It’s cross-dressing with a particular fantasy attached: wanting to be an exaggerated sex object with a pleasure-focused existence.
Mrs Noem, former secretary of homeland security in the US, has asked for 'privacy and prayers' after her husband's kink went public
It’s also more complicated.
Lots of secret cross-dressers indulge their kink discreetly and in private. Noem’s fetish involved interaction with others – usually adult performers who’d transformed themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping huge amounts of saline into their breasts.
Noem liked ‘3000cc-plus boobs’ – XXL implants that can hold more than 3000 cubic centimetres of saline per breast. (Needless to say, this procedure is not recommended by surgeons.)
And he paid a substantial amount (£19,000) to chat with women who had them, adding another layer to the risk that opened the couple up to blackmail, as well as ridicule.
Mrs Noem asked for ‘privacy and prayers’ after this all went public – but it’s worth mentioning that the exposure of her recent affair with advisor Corey Lewandowski left her husband humiliated. His family say he should leave her, rather than the other way around.
But is discovering your husband has a bimbofication fetish worth destroying a marriage over?
A kink, however unusual, is not in itself usually grounds for the end of marriage. But it does mean there’s a conversation you both needed to have that never happened.
The reasons why it didn’t will probably dictate what a couple does next.
Visit traceycox.com for Tracey’s books, podcast, blogs and more information about sex and relationships.
