'They're living inside a prison. I hope this wakes them up': Tears, loving notes and pints... meet the men fighting back against the Manosphere - as they tell MOLLY CLAYTON the one thing that must change
On a recent evening in London, a pub was filled with a large group of men. But they were not football fans or quiz teams, rather fathers holding hairbrushes and mannequin heads.
More than 30 of them had gathered in an upstairs room at the Lucky Saint pub in Marylebone, central London, concentrating as they learned how to braid.
Video clips from the evening, which show dads hunched over figurines, carefully sectioning hair, have now racked up more than nine million views, with audiences across the world calling it everything from ‘healing’ to ‘a room full of green flags‘.
The event is called Pints & Ponytails, hosted by Mathew Lewis-Carter and Lawrence Price, the men behind The Secret Life of Dads podcast, and it is being dubbed ‘the perfect antidote to the manosphere‘.
Guided by professional stylists from Braid Maidens, the men worked through everything from basic ponytails to more advanced braids, alcohol-free beers in hand and mannequin heads lined up across the tables. Many had never attempted anything like it before.
But the idea itself is simple, helping dads learn a small, everyday skill that can mean a lot to their daughters.
The idea comes from best friends Mat and Lawrence, two personal trainers who met on 'a sweaty gym floor‘.
When we speak over video call, Mat and Lawrence are mid-preparation for their next event, waiting for the arrival of 35 new mannequin heads.
Video clips from the evening, which show dads hunched over figurines, carefully sectioning hair, have now racked up more than nine million views
‘We used to do these brutal fitness competitions,’ they tell me. ‘Loads of men, horrible workouts, and then it became a real social thing.’ That friendship quickly became something deeper.
Today, Lawrence is godfather to Mathew’s daughter and even officiated at his wedding. But it was fatherhood that changed the direction of everything.
Both men are open about the fact they struggled in the early days. ‘Nothing really prepares you for it,’ Lawrence says. ‘There’s this push and pull between wanting to be present at home and feeling like you’ve got to go out and provide.’
It was those conversations that sparked their podcast, Secret Life of Dads, for which they’ve spent the past two years speaking to experts, from neuroscientists to psychologists, trying to unpack the realities of modern fatherhood.
‘There was a plethora of content for mums,’ Mat said. ‘But very little for dads.’
The now-viral event began as a half-serious suggestion.
‘I said to Lawrence, “I’ve got this crazy idea, let’s get a group of dads together in a pub with mannequins”,’ Mathew said. ‘We can have a few beers and learn to braid.’
The event sold out in under 50 minutes. And the waiting list for another was booming.
By the time the viral night rolled around, 35 fathers had turned up, many of them strangers, walking into what Lawrence describes as ‘a bizarre room mannequin heads everywhere, beers on the table’.
‘It takes real courage to turn up to something like that on your own,’ they add.
On the surface Pints & Ponytails is playful, but speak to the men behind it and the intention is clear. ‘This is the complete antithesis to the manosphere,’ Mat says.
At a time when online spaces are increasingly dominated by performative versions of masculinity, something brought sharply into focus by the attention of Louis Theroux’s Netflix documentary on the subject, this feels like a different path entirely.
‘We didn’t mean this to happen at the same time,’ Mat says. ‘You've got dads showing up who want to learn a new skill to deepen connections with their daughters and if you get five extra minutes with your girl, not saying every day, but throughout their lifetime, as they're growing up, it can have a profound effect on them and the person they become.
The friends met at a gym and hosted a podcast before coming up with their new venture
‘So there's an enormous amount of responsibility for dads. There's this notion of toxic masculinity thrown about, and men get a bad rep, but there was a group of men in this room who were so far from that toxic masculinity labelling, and it was just really refreshing.’
Between sections of hair and attempts at plaits, conversations opened up.
Mat and Lawrence tell me the dads spoke about struggles, pressures, things they hadn’t felt able to share elsewhere.
Part of it, they believe, is the set-up. Research suggests men often communicate better side by side, focused on a task, rather than sitting face to face. Add in the familiar setting of a pub.
‘There’s no judgment,’ they say. ‘No one knows your backstory. You’re all just dads.’
At the end of one session, they asked attendees to write their biggest takeaway on Post-it notes.
One read: ‘My daughter said my hands are too big to do her hair. Tomorrow I’ll show her what I’ve learned.’
They pause when recalling it to me. Lawrence said: ‘I looked through the Post-it notes the next day, and there were just tears streaming down my face.’
Lawrence, who has a nine-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son, and Mathew, whose daughter is four, are acutely aware of the responsibility that comes with what they’ve created.
Because what’s happening now goes beyond one pub in London. Their inboxes are flooded with messages, from dads across the UK and beyond, asking how they can attend, or host their own version.
‘There’s something happening on the other side of the manosphere,’ Mat said. ‘Men who want to be vulnerable, who want to connect.’
And yet, they’re careful not to frame it as a direct reaction.
‘We’re not going to be dictated by that,’ they explain. ‘We’re just going to keep doing what feels natural to us.
‘It just seems such a shame that men are living inside that prison when there’s so much more outside of this. In that documentary there is a recurring theme of a lack of father figures.
‘And then that also puts a massive responsibility on dads and I hope it does wake some dads up.’
For both men, fatherhood has been transformative, not just in how they parent, but in how they see themselves.
‘I went through so much of my life thinking I was a pretty good person,’ Mat says. ‘And then parenthood holds a mirror up to you. It shows you the work you still need to do.’
‘It’s hard,’ Lawrence adds. ‘It’s challenging. But it’s also a beautiful journey.’
Mat and Lawrence want to provide an antidote to the toxic masculinity highlighted in Louis Theroux's Inside the Manosphere documentary
They describe how, over the past two years, through the podcast and through events, they’ve changed.
‘We’re not the same men. Not the same dads,’ they say. ‘We’ve been on a real journey.’
And that journey, they believe, starts with something simple: being willing to open up and talk to one another.
‘Once you have the bravery to do that,’ Lawrence says, ‘it’s incredible what happens.’
Plans are already in motion to take Pints & Ponytails beyond London, with the pair exploring how to replicate the same atmosphere without losing what makes it special.
There’s also talk of creating a framework for others to host their own events, ensuring that as the idea spreads, the core values remain intact.
‘We feel a responsibility now,’ they admit. ‘But also an opportunity.’
It would be easy to dismiss Pints & Ponytails as just another viral trend. But speaking to the people behind it, and it becomes clear this is something more.
‘We just hope with what we’re doing we can honour our daughters. We want men to open up, have deeper conversations and make the world a slightly better place.’
