Is your partner's weekend drinking a sign of secret alcohol addiction? Expert reveals why 'perfectly normal' middle class drinkers often have a problem without realising - and how to spot the signs

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Most of us enjoy a drink at the weekend, but the weekly habit can turn into an addiction for some.

Speaking to the Daily Mail, Phil Macleod – a hypnotherapist, psychologist and founder of Thought Reader – explained that alcohol dependency is more common than most think and it can present in multiple ways.

Macleod said: 'The most common alcohol problem I see doesn't look like addiction at all and does not fall into the classic understanding of being alcohol dependent. There are no dramatic scenes, no lost jobs and no obvious chaos.

'Instead, it often looks like a perfectly normal lifestyle: a busy job, a strong social life, a glass of wine (or two) at dinner, out for drinks with friends on Friday nights, and maybe a few more on a Saturday, followed by a few glasses with a roast dinner at the pub on a Sunday.

'This may look fine in isolation, but grouped over a whole weekend, every weekend, what appear to be the healthiest habits may not be so healthy after all.

'When you ask people about their drinking habits, you'll often hear the same reassuring message: that they only drink on the weekend, or I just have a couple with friends to relax.

'But in reality, dependency isn't usually about how much someone drinks, it's more about why. More often than not, it shows up in patterns – the small traits around drinking that slowly become routine, and if you're looking, noticeable.'

Read on to discover the seven little-known warning signs that might mean your loved one is addicted to alcohol, according to the psychologist.

Hypnotherapist, psychologist and Thought Reader founder Phil Macleod has revealed the signs that your loved one might have an alcohol dependency (posed by model)

1. The weekend's activities revolve around drinking, and the following day is built around a lie-in

Macleod said: 'One of the clearest signs is when alcohol becomes the main event of the weekend rather than something that simply happens during it.

'You might notice plans are increasingly built around alcohol-based activities, be it pubs, wine bars, bottomless brunches, or even attending a sporting fixture where the drinks flow.

'Funnily enough, activities that don't involve drinking – daytime plans, early mornings, exercise or family time – start to feel far less appealing.

'Often this shift happens gradually, so neither the person nor the people around them will notice straight away, but over time the brain starts associating relaxation and enjoyment almost entirely with alcohol – the two begin to coexist together unconsciously. And its the start of an unhealthy relationship.'

2. Their whole mood shifts after the first drink, and the lead-up to it

The psychologist continued: 'One subtle sign to watch out for is how suddenly someone's mood shifts after consuming their first drink.

'Leading up to the drink, you may notice them start to come alive and get more excited than they should about heading out.

'Prior, they may be tense, tired or quiet, but then as the first glass gets closer, you can visibly spot the difference – they look happier, lighter and more talkative.

'At first glance, that might seem perfectly normal because, let's remember, alcohol lowers someone's inhibitions. But when that shift becomes very obvious, it can suggest that alcohol is doing something more important psychologically.

'In therapy, we sometimes talk about what is known as "emotional switches". This is when someone repeatedly relies on something to change how they feel – whether that be from feeling stressed to feeling calm, or from anxious to confident – and in the case of alcohol, the brain begins to treat drinking as the quickest solution.

'Over time, your loved one may start believing they can't achieve that version of themselves without drinking and will rely on it.

'That's often the turning point, where a habit quietly starts turning into dependence. Many people notice this behaviour, but tune it out or just ignore it.'

If you're worried about a loved one's drinking habits, try Phil Macleod's steps...

Hypnotherapist, psychologist and founder of Thought Reader, Phil Macleod

'Try not to be confrontational with them about it as, in my experience, that rarely works and will backfire.

'Instead, your tone should be supportive and understanding.

'Focus on patterns, not accusations.

'Rather than saying, "You drink too much," it's often more productive to gently point out patterns you've noticed, such as, "You've been out a lot more than normal this week, have you enjoyed it?"

'When they respond and acknowledge it you can always say, "OK, that's good, let's have a detox week and do something else which is as much fun."

'Try and understand their drinking pattern and what alcohol is doing for them, it's usually triggered by something deeper, such as stress, social anxiety, pressure at work or emotional burdens.

'Ask them openly if everything is ok at work, any issues or pressures you can help with.

'There is help available in many forms if drinking is becoming more frequent or dependent.

'Hypnotherapy, for instance, might be a good way for them to unearth the real issue and help put in place systems and mechanisms to cope. 

'Reaching out is always better earlier than later.

'Don't worry, the odd drink is fine, just make sure that you and your loved ones are drinking in moderation and emotional control.'

3. They seem restless, irritable or 'just off' when they don't drink

Macleod explained: 'Another sign to look for is when alcohol quietly becomes part of someone's emotional routine.

'If a person usually drinks on Friday and Saturday night, skipping that routine can leave them feeling unsettled and irritable. You will notice that they look bored, start moaning, or become grumpy, and are disengaged from the current environment.

'This withdrawal can be an indication to others around them that they are used to alcohol being part of the relaxation ritual. Without it, the occasion or outing can feel strange and incomplete to them.'

4. They start drinking before social plans even begin

Pre-drinking before a night out is something most would do before heading to the club in their late teens. However, if this continues into adulthood, it can be a glaring sign of addiction, Macleod said.

He explained: 'Another pattern I see surprisingly often is drinking before going out – this is the big "pre-drinking" sign to look out for.

'A person might pour a glass of wine (or two, may as well finish the bottle) while getting ready, or have a drink before meeting friends at the pub or restaurant – and on the surface it can seem harmless.

'However, psychologically, it can mean they're trying to change their mood or get in the zone before the evening even begins.

'When alcohol becomes the thing that prepares someone for social situations, it's often doing more emotional work than people realise, and it's worth thinking about why they are doing it.'

5. They drink much faster than everyone else in the group

'One subtle warning sign I often notice is how quickly someone drinks once they start – aka the "drinking pace" sign.

'You might see them gulp down their first drink much faster than everyone else at the table, and by the time others are halfway through theirs, they're already ordering the next, or telling you it's your round.

'There is a distinction between simply appearing thirsty or enjoying the drink itself.

'More often, the brain is chasing the feeling and change that alcohol brings them – so it becomes less about taste and more about getting to the effect as quickly as possible.

'In fact, if you ask them, they probably couldn't tell you what it tastes like; it just tastes like normal.

'When you spot this pattern, it can indicate that alcohol is doing a psychological job rather than simply being enjoyed socially and for the taste.

'When someone is regularly outpacing the table, it is breaking society norms and indicating that alcohol is more important than group acceptance in that situation.'

6. They push for 'just one more' or 'one for the road' at the end of the night

If a person isn't done drinking by the end of the night, it can be a red flag, the psychologist warned. 

He said: 'One warning sign that often stands out is the person who is the life and soul of the party and keeps the evening going when others are ready to go home.

'You'll often hear phrases like, "Go on, let's have just one more" or "One for the road" when it's clear the rest of the group are done and want to head home.

'On a psychological level, this can reveal something important.

'Spot the person who offers to buy the last round themselves. They might be being generous, but really, they don't want the drinking to stop yet and are trying to subtly coerce the group.

'Alcohol doesn't just become part of the evening – it becomes the evening, and they want to stretch it just a little longer. They really just want to hold on to the feeling.'

7. They become defensive, evasive or secretive when drinking is mentioned

Macleod's final sign was all about a person's emotional response to alcohol. He said: 'One of the most revealing signals is emotional reaction.

'If someone is secretive or flat out denies drinking, then there is definitely more in play than just a casual drink with friends.

'If someone suddenly becomes defensive when their drinking is brought up – even lightly – it can suggest that part of them already knows it may be a problem and they feel uncomfortable about the habit.

'People who feel fully in control of their drinking can usually talk freely about it. Defensiveness often suggests the subject touches on something deeper at a very personal level.

'This is normally very obvious, and over time the excuses you make for them doing this erode.'