EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Which bestselling author has become his own ‘pointless celebrity’?

The King’s recent ‘Harmony Summit’ at Highgrove featured a fire pit, the honouring of Mother Earth, conch shells, face paint, feathers, incantations, herbalist refreshments and nods to Christianity. Indigenous people from Amazon tribes were present – as was the King’s Amazon film crew recording the event for his forthcoming documentary. It was the first time Charles had been able to bring to life his manifesto for living together, Harmony: A New Way of Looking at Our World (2010). Alarmingly, historian Max Hastings described it as ‘the ravings of a Buddhist mystic’.

 

German comic Henning Wehn complains that the Lioness footballers are not as good as the men, saying: ‘The women’s Euros. It’s good to watch… if you’re new to the game. Men had more than 100 years to get the game to the level it’s being played at now. It’s ridiculous to expect the women’s game to do the same in barely any time.’ Could Herr Wehn be having a giraffe because his team was knocked out in the semi finals? The German sense of humour is no laughing matter.

 
Dame Helen Mirren attends day 14 of Wimbledon on July 13

Dame Helen Mirren attends day 14 of Wimbledon on July 13

Ben Kingsley, left, and Pierce Brosnan seen in The Thursday Murder Club film, which will be available to stream on Netflix later this year

Ben Kingsley, left, and Pierce Brosnan seen in The Thursday Murder Club film, which will be available to stream on Netflix later this year

Helen Mirren, pictured, will be regally accepting belated 80th birthday good wishes at next month’s New York premiere of The Thursday Murder Club with co-stars Pierce Brosnan and Ben Kingsley. Guess who won’t be there? Writer of the original bestselling 2020 murder mystery, Richard Osman. He’s become, apparently, his own ‘pointless celebrity’.

 

Contending with the daily challenges of fame since playing expletive-ridden Succession alter ego Logan Roy, actor Brian Cox explains: ‘Now everybody knows who I am and they come up and say, “Can you tell me to f*** off?”. So I say, “All right, f*** off”. Then they say, “But we haven’t taken a picture”.’ Blue-tongued Cox, who clearly relishes effing and blinding, continues to pummel fans with profanities.

 

Tut, tut. If Gyles Brandreth hoped to curry favour by sending a birthday card to Prince George last week, he may have spoilt it by also sending one to Jamaica’s PM. Andrew Holness and the heir to the heir share a birthday. Holness famously upstaged William and Kate on their ill-fated 2022 visit to Jamaica by declaring his intention, in their presence, to remove the King as head of state ‘in short order’. One wonders why Gyles has been overlooked by the honours bods all these years.

 

US Vice President JD Vance is reportedly renting a Cotswold house in Charlbury, not far from Jeremy Clarkson’s farm in Chadlington. Might they bump into each other? That could be awkward. Clarkson has savaged Vance in print, describing him as a ‘bearded God-botherer... I’ve searched for the right word to describe him and I think it’s “t**t”’. Should Clarkson’s jumbo tractor hove into view, JD’s Marine Corps training might prove useful.